Thursday, June 14, 2007
Same ole same ole
I know I should write something today but I don't feel any different than yesterday. Bleech.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Is The Evil In My House?
Hmmmmmmmm....very interesting...
A phone call this morning indicated Dr. Evil's hotel reservations had been canceled. Weird. Maybe he decided to not go? Maybe not...
I called P this morning. We talked leisurely for about 30 minutes, then she had to put the kids to school. I called her back 30 minutes later, to ask her two questions - one professional and one personal. The professional one was answered quickly. The personal one was very weird. She said little and wouldn't talk. I asked her if she still loved me and if our marriage was over. She said yes and no (respectably). When I tried to inquire further, it was lots of little comments, not many words. I asked for examples of certain things and she refused to give them, saying she didn't have to and it's all old. I asked her again if she loved me, and she said yes. I asked her if I could hear her say it, and instead I heard "Bye. CLICK!"
I tried calling back 3 times to both mobile and landlines. The calls weren't answered.
He must be there in my own house, and I bet he spent the night. I think I'm going to puke. I hope he didn't sleep in my bed, although I'm not sure why I care anymore.
P, I still love you.
A phone call this morning indicated Dr. Evil's hotel reservations had been canceled. Weird. Maybe he decided to not go? Maybe not...
I called P this morning. We talked leisurely for about 30 minutes, then she had to put the kids to school. I called her back 30 minutes later, to ask her two questions - one professional and one personal. The professional one was answered quickly. The personal one was very weird. She said little and wouldn't talk. I asked her if she still loved me and if our marriage was over. She said yes and no (respectably). When I tried to inquire further, it was lots of little comments, not many words. I asked for examples of certain things and she refused to give them, saying she didn't have to and it's all old. I asked her again if she loved me, and she said yes. I asked her if I could hear her say it, and instead I heard "Bye. CLICK!"
I tried calling back 3 times to both mobile and landlines. The calls weren't answered.
He must be there in my own house, and I bet he spent the night. I think I'm going to puke. I hope he didn't sleep in my bed, although I'm not sure why I care anymore.
P, I still love you.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
D-day is here...
D-day as in Dr. Evil arrival. I can't believe how helpless I feel. So many years, so much investment, right down the toilet. One day perhaps I will learn the whole truth. Probably not though. They say death row inmates feel an inner peace once they are resigned to their fate. I know I'm resigned to my fate, and there's basically nothing I can do, but I don't feel an inner calm at all. I feel like crap. I've eaten 2 meals in the last 8 days, and I'm really not hungry. I've run 13 miles the last 3 days - and I NEVER run - just for stress relief. My mind is just wasted. It feels like a tornado between my ears. The lunatic is definitely in my head. How I'm continuing to do my job is really beyond me.
Monday, June 11, 2007
More of the same...
I talked to P today. First time in several days as I'm out of town. She gave me some of the news, but no indication that Dr. Evil was coming to visit. I asked around it several times: if she had any plans this week, anything else going on this week, etc., and no mention of his visit. I wish she'd be honest with me; I wish she'd send him home, I wish she'd never met him. I might as well wish that the sun rise tomorrow in the west. I guess I am resigned to my fate. Fireworks will surely follow...
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Helpless
I've never felt so helpless in my life. My marriage is falling apart in front of me and there's NOT A DAMN THING I can do about it...all I can do is cry...
She finally did it
Well, this sucks.
After one aborted attempt, and swearing to me that she wouldn't do it, P is hooking up with Dr. Evil while I'm gone. A phone call confirms that Dr. Evil is going to conveniently be in my little town for a couple of days, leaving not too much before I get home. Unbelievable. Somehow I don't think it is to shop at the big mega-store in my town where many people drive many hours to shop at, though his hotel is more or less next to it, but this is way too far to drive and there are many closer to Dr. Evil.
How convenient that his hotel reservations just happen to start on a night when our daughter is away on an overnight field trip, and I am several time zones away. How convenient that he happens to be coming in/out right between nights when P is scheduled to do some part-time work.
A week or two ago, in my jillionth effort to try to figure this out once and for all with her, I asked her to read aloud the following sentence: "My relationship with Dr. Evil is more important to me than my marriage." She said it scared her and that she'd try not to hurt me, and less than a week later, BANG! I had also sent her the following last week:
I wonder how she will try to pawn off this one. In many ways I don't care, and in other ways the entertainment value of watching this lie could be worth my weight in gold.
I know she was trying to set up this rendezvous before I left. I asked her about it, she lied, I called Bullshit, and she owned up to part (all?) of it. It made me so mad that I left.
I got on my bike and rode, as far and as hard as I could. I even tried to call Dr Evil. He didn't answer. He knows that I tried to call though. P called me while I was on my bike and asked if she could pick me up. I said "only if you are going to be honest with me. If you are going to lie then don't bother." She came and picked me up and told me some more. She couched it in a cover story of "Dr. Evil needs to come for Continuing Education, yes he could do this at home, but he wanted to visit some family in the midwest, do the CE, and say hi to me along the way, taking care of a bunch of things together." I gave her one more out to try to make honest on this relationship, and she refused, saying she couldn't admit to something that didn't/wasn't going to happen...I said that this whole rendezvous idea, completely while I was gone, was a bad idea, and I *thought* she agreed, but that she couldn't control when the CE was, and if it happened to fall while I was gone that she couldn't control that. So I asked her when this CE supposedly was, and P said that Dr. Evil didn't know yet. Didn't know yet???? Like they set these up with a week's notice? Yeah, right. I asked her if this was going to conveniently happen when I was gone. She said she didn't know...blah, blah, blah.
So the following night I asked her if she had talked to Dr. Evil and mentioned that this was a bad idea and not to come. She said "Yes, now he doesn't want to come, he doesn't even want to know the name of the hotels, you win again."
BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT
In many ways I wonder what it is that Dr. Evil has. Maybe it's a 15-inch member; maybe it's way more money; maybe it's just the thrill of something different. I think P will have a lot of time to contemplate it now.
The really really really sad part is that I still love her so much, but I can't continue to live the lie. A lot of tears have been shed over this one...and a lot more I am sure. Yet still more to come.
After one aborted attempt, and swearing to me that she wouldn't do it, P is hooking up with Dr. Evil while I'm gone. A phone call confirms that Dr. Evil is going to conveniently be in my little town for a couple of days, leaving not too much before I get home. Unbelievable. Somehow I don't think it is to shop at the big mega-store in my town where many people drive many hours to shop at, though his hotel is more or less next to it, but this is way too far to drive and there are many closer to Dr. Evil.
How convenient that his hotel reservations just happen to start on a night when our daughter is away on an overnight field trip, and I am several time zones away. How convenient that he happens to be coming in/out right between nights when P is scheduled to do some part-time work.
A week or two ago, in my jillionth effort to try to figure this out once and for all with her, I asked her to read aloud the following sentence: "My relationship with Dr. Evil is more important to me than my marriage." She said it scared her and that she'd try not to hurt me, and less than a week later, BANG! I had also sent her the following last week:
I don't care who your friends are and what you do every day, but I can't/won't tolerate a boyfriend (or continued activities and/or lies giving the appearance of one), because as much as I love you that will eventually make me leave. I'm not asking you to choose between Dr. Evil your friend and me, but if you treat him like a secret beau or object of desire that means to me that you've already made that choice...I suppose I just want to be sure you know that I'm really serious this time. Does that make sense? I Love YOU, I really do, but I WILL NOT share. I'd rather do without or be dead.To which she replied:
okay, but don't make a mt out of a mole hill....yes, this does almost sound like a threat, but I think I understand... I know the 'boundaries'...Know the boundaries...BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT. Okay, maybe not bullshit about knowing the boundaries, but CHOOSING TO RESPECT THEM! Give me a ----ing break.
I wonder how she will try to pawn off this one. In many ways I don't care, and in other ways the entertainment value of watching this lie could be worth my weight in gold.
I know she was trying to set up this rendezvous before I left. I asked her about it, she lied, I called Bullshit, and she owned up to part (all?) of it. It made me so mad that I left.
I got on my bike and rode, as far and as hard as I could. I even tried to call Dr Evil. He didn't answer. He knows that I tried to call though. P called me while I was on my bike and asked if she could pick me up. I said "only if you are going to be honest with me. If you are going to lie then don't bother." She came and picked me up and told me some more. She couched it in a cover story of "Dr. Evil needs to come for Continuing Education, yes he could do this at home, but he wanted to visit some family in the midwest, do the CE, and say hi to me along the way, taking care of a bunch of things together." I gave her one more out to try to make honest on this relationship, and she refused, saying she couldn't admit to something that didn't/wasn't going to happen...I said that this whole rendezvous idea, completely while I was gone, was a bad idea, and I *thought* she agreed, but that she couldn't control when the CE was, and if it happened to fall while I was gone that she couldn't control that. So I asked her when this CE supposedly was, and P said that Dr. Evil didn't know yet. Didn't know yet???? Like they set these up with a week's notice? Yeah, right. I asked her if this was going to conveniently happen when I was gone. She said she didn't know...blah, blah, blah.
So the following night I asked her if she had talked to Dr. Evil and mentioned that this was a bad idea and not to come. She said "Yes, now he doesn't want to come, he doesn't even want to know the name of the hotels, you win again."
BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT
In many ways I wonder what it is that Dr. Evil has. Maybe it's a 15-inch member; maybe it's way more money; maybe it's just the thrill of something different. I think P will have a lot of time to contemplate it now.
The really really really sad part is that I still love her so much, but I can't continue to live the lie. A lot of tears have been shed over this one...and a lot more I am sure. Yet still more to come.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Hating the camera
P is a very pretty lady. She always has been. She's never considered herself very pretty, except maybe here lately. She colored her hair about a year ago and has recently lost probably 20-25 pounds. She was never anything anywhere close to fat (I'm sure in her mind she was a whale) but now she is model thin, tanned, and even more gorgeous than before. P is ten years older than me (Dr. Evil 19 years older than me) but she looks at least my age and probably 5 years younger.
Possibly related to self-views of not being pretty (despite how often I would tell her this), she rarely has any pictures of herself. She takes a fair number of pics, especially of our kids, but never any of herself. She won't have any made, either. I guess that explains why the most recent family pic with her that I have in my wallet is 1998, and the most recent solo pic of her goes back further than that.
As I am away on business right now, I took a copy of a goofy snapshot she had taken with our son so I'd have something to show people and to remind me of her. It's better than nothing. She won't even do a Skype videoconference with me (the kids do!) because she says she hates the camera and feels like she's being interrogated.
However, I know P sat for a pic for Dr. Evil many months ago, and when his film didn't develop, she sent him many more. WHY???? WHY does this "friend" get immediate pics and I never get any? All I get is a story about how she hates the camera, has never liked the camera, and doesn't want any pics taken. Moreover, she sends him pictures of OUR kids. Weird? I think so. There's a convenient excuse about a foster care child (probably true) who needs to see pictures of normal happy kids (aren't there any closer?) and then their mother.
The lunatic is in my head.
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.
You lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.
And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear.
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.
"Brain Damage" - Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon, 1973
Possibly related to self-views of not being pretty (despite how often I would tell her this), she rarely has any pictures of herself. She takes a fair number of pics, especially of our kids, but never any of herself. She won't have any made, either. I guess that explains why the most recent family pic with her that I have in my wallet is 1998, and the most recent solo pic of her goes back further than that.
As I am away on business right now, I took a copy of a goofy snapshot she had taken with our son so I'd have something to show people and to remind me of her. It's better than nothing. She won't even do a Skype videoconference with me (the kids do!) because she says she hates the camera and feels like she's being interrogated.
However, I know P sat for a pic for Dr. Evil many months ago, and when his film didn't develop, she sent him many more. WHY???? WHY does this "friend" get immediate pics and I never get any? All I get is a story about how she hates the camera, has never liked the camera, and doesn't want any pics taken. Moreover, she sends him pictures of OUR kids. Weird? I think so. There's a convenient excuse about a foster care child (probably true) who needs to see pictures of normal happy kids (aren't there any closer?) and then their mother.
The lunatic is in my head.
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.
You lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.
And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear.
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.
"Brain Damage" - Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon, 1973
Friday, June 8, 2007
Roses are red...
...at least if P is sending them to Dr. Evil.
WHY DOES A MARRIED WOMAN SEND A DOZEN RED ROSES TO A SINGLE GUY, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT SHE KNOWS HER HUSBAND HATES????? ANY FOOL KNOWS WHAT SENDING A DOZEN RED ROSES MEANS! THERE IS NO ALTERNATE EXPLANATION?
Here's a series of her answers:
1) She didn't (proven lie)
2) I talked to Dr. Evil and he was having a bad day and so I sent them to him (proven lie)
3) Dr. Evil just likes roses (possible I suppose)
4) Because I wanted to so deal with it (probably truthful, if rude)
This day several weeks ago, I come home and she has a dozen multicolored roses sitting in the kitchen. I asked if they were from Dr. Evil, and she quickly says "NO!" and shows me the receipt that she bought them herself. She has NEVER bought herself roses in all the years we've been married. Something really stunk here...
Later that night I saw phone records from the florist. I called and asked about the order and they told me all about it. I confronted her, and confronted her several times since then about it, and you see the series of stories I've been told. Of course, it's all my fault for controlling everything she does and every penny she spends (never ONCE did I question the money she spent on this).
Last week I asked her what was on the card. She said she didn't remember. What a lie. A couple days later I didn't ask her what was on the card, but just simply why did she lie about it (because I knew she had to be lying):
Me: Why did you lie about this?
P: Because I knew you would read too much into it.
Me: Why did you think I would read too much into it?
P: Because you get angry about these things.
Me: Why did you think I would get angry about these things?
P: I don't remember exactly what was on the card, but I remember the gist of it. I don't want to talk about it anymore, I'm not going to tell you what was on the card.
Me: I didn't ask you to tell me what was on the card.
P: Let's just drop it.
I guess to her credit, her second choice on the order was a dozen multi-colored roses, but what florist doesn't have red roses? I guess you have to say something for the order.
I really do love this woman, but WHY DOES SHE INSIST ON PLAYING ME FOR A FOOL! WHY DOES SHE DISRESPECT ME LIKE THIS?
It is not my fault that I know this stuff happened. I am not the bad guy for checking up when something stinks. I get accused of "looking under the microscope" for everything in her life. Why do I always find a virus when I look?
Couldn't she have just never met this guy? More later...
WHY DOES A MARRIED WOMAN SEND A DOZEN RED ROSES TO A SINGLE GUY, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT SHE KNOWS HER HUSBAND HATES????? ANY FOOL KNOWS WHAT SENDING A DOZEN RED ROSES MEANS! THERE IS NO ALTERNATE EXPLANATION?
Here's a series of her answers:
1) She didn't (proven lie)
2) I talked to Dr. Evil and he was having a bad day and so I sent them to him (proven lie)
3) Dr. Evil just likes roses (possible I suppose)
4) Because I wanted to so deal with it (probably truthful, if rude)
This day several weeks ago, I come home and she has a dozen multicolored roses sitting in the kitchen. I asked if they were from Dr. Evil, and she quickly says "NO!" and shows me the receipt that she bought them herself. She has NEVER bought herself roses in all the years we've been married. Something really stunk here...
Later that night I saw phone records from the florist. I called and asked about the order and they told me all about it. I confronted her, and confronted her several times since then about it, and you see the series of stories I've been told. Of course, it's all my fault for controlling everything she does and every penny she spends (never ONCE did I question the money she spent on this).
Last week I asked her what was on the card. She said she didn't remember. What a lie. A couple days later I didn't ask her what was on the card, but just simply why did she lie about it (because I knew she had to be lying):
Me: Why did you lie about this?
P: Because I knew you would read too much into it.
Me: Why did you think I would read too much into it?
P: Because you get angry about these things.
Me: Why did you think I would get angry about these things?
P: I don't remember exactly what was on the card, but I remember the gist of it. I don't want to talk about it anymore, I'm not going to tell you what was on the card.
Me: I didn't ask you to tell me what was on the card.
P: Let's just drop it.
I guess to her credit, her second choice on the order was a dozen multi-colored roses, but what florist doesn't have red roses? I guess you have to say something for the order.
I really do love this woman, but WHY DOES SHE INSIST ON PLAYING ME FOR A FOOL! WHY DOES SHE DISRESPECT ME LIKE THIS?
It is not my fault that I know this stuff happened. I am not the bad guy for checking up when something stinks. I get accused of "looking under the microscope" for everything in her life. Why do I always find a virus when I look?
Couldn't she have just never met this guy? More later...
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Oh geez
This one oughta be good.
For a long time P has insisted that I am monitoring her every move. That I am a control freak. We're both control-people; I think this is to be expected with well-educated folks. Maybe not. Anyhow, she says that put a GPS chip in her brain and car, monitor all her phone calls, monitor every keystroke on her computer, and totally control her life. There is some truth as to why she might think this...
A while ago I participated in a project which measured employee attitudes when they were monitored. To do this I purchased some software. I had mountains of data and printouts which stated where they were, what they did, etc. Good project - the sponsors were happy. I still have much of the software to do this, but I've been working on more interesting projects since then.
This morning P sends me an email saying that she had removed one of the pieces of software that I used in this project - I assume she meant from her computer. I think the message was trying to indicate: "Hah! I KNEW IT!" but I don't know for sure. The company that made this software went out of business a long time ago, and it is certainly possible that it is floating around the Internet in the wild (Windows - what a waste), but it probably was on a series of disks, DVDs, and other files that have been transferred back and forth between many computers we have owned throughout the years. She's had largely her own machines for the last 5 years or so, but who knows what might have happened.
Anyhow, this is such a farce. If I had access to such detailed data, I probably wouldn't be so HurtingAndConfused! I'd think that I'd know for sure one way or another. But this will probably cause a huge fight. Good thing I'm tremendously busy today.
I do monitor phone records for a variety of reasons. Not the least of which is to make sure we stay under our alloted cell minutes for the month. I'll bet P and Dr. Evil blow way through that number this month. Maybe not. No way to blame me if it happens - I'm not using that phone right now. I'm also curious how much her and P chat. I find it terribly interesting that in MANY cases how as soon as she gets rid of me - work, leisure, travel, etc. then she's right on the phone with him. ARGH! Sometimes I say something, most of the time I let it go.
As for all the other "monitoring" that she claims, I think she's just delirious...
For a long time P has insisted that I am monitoring her every move. That I am a control freak. We're both control-people; I think this is to be expected with well-educated folks. Maybe not. Anyhow, she says that put a GPS chip in her brain and car, monitor all her phone calls, monitor every keystroke on her computer, and totally control her life. There is some truth as to why she might think this...
A while ago I participated in a project which measured employee attitudes when they were monitored. To do this I purchased some software. I had mountains of data and printouts which stated where they were, what they did, etc. Good project - the sponsors were happy. I still have much of the software to do this, but I've been working on more interesting projects since then.
This morning P sends me an email saying that she had removed one of the pieces of software that I used in this project - I assume she meant from her computer. I think the message was trying to indicate: "Hah! I KNEW IT!" but I don't know for sure. The company that made this software went out of business a long time ago, and it is certainly possible that it is floating around the Internet in the wild (Windows - what a waste), but it probably was on a series of disks, DVDs, and other files that have been transferred back and forth between many computers we have owned throughout the years. She's had largely her own machines for the last 5 years or so, but who knows what might have happened.
Anyhow, this is such a farce. If I had access to such detailed data, I probably wouldn't be so HurtingAndConfused! I'd think that I'd know for sure one way or another. But this will probably cause a huge fight. Good thing I'm tremendously busy today.
I do monitor phone records for a variety of reasons. Not the least of which is to make sure we stay under our alloted cell minutes for the month. I'll bet P and Dr. Evil blow way through that number this month. Maybe not. No way to blame me if it happens - I'm not using that phone right now. I'm also curious how much her and P chat. I find it terribly interesting that in MANY cases how as soon as she gets rid of me - work, leisure, travel, etc. then she's right on the phone with him. ARGH! Sometimes I say something, most of the time I let it go.
As for all the other "monitoring" that she claims, I think she's just delirious...
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Stars and Moon
Dr. Evil and the moon and stars somehow have a special relationship with my wife. My wife needs a name by now too. Let's call her P. I'm not sure exactly what the importance is. According to P, she went on a walk one evening with Dr. Evil and she got lost. Dr. Evil was supposedly following the moon, and then she said she couldn't find the moon when she got lost. Whether she freaked out or not next is less obvious, but there are fairly constant references to the moon and full moon with Dr. Evil. It is to the point now when I see her staring at the moon I know she is thinking about him. Ugh.
I'm not sure where the stars thing comes from, but I know that she has mentioned how when she sees the full moon and finds quotes about the stars, that it reminds her of Dr. Evil and brings big smiles to her face. She's also told him that she "had better watch out for those smiles, because it might make her think she's up to something." Funny enough, she told me this when we were dating over a decade ago.
She's dabbled in astrology a very little bit, but since Dr. Evil she's been more and more interested.
What the ---k is up with the night skies and Dr. Evil?
I'm not sure where the stars thing comes from, but I know that she has mentioned how when she sees the full moon and finds quotes about the stars, that it reminds her of Dr. Evil and brings big smiles to her face. She's also told him that she "had better watch out for those smiles, because it might make her think she's up to something." Funny enough, she told me this when we were dating over a decade ago.
She's dabbled in astrology a very little bit, but since Dr. Evil she's been more and more interested.
What the ---k is up with the night skies and Dr. Evil?
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Birth of Dr. Evil
Well, it's June now and I'm sure Dr. Evil is the recipient of a birthday present or two by now. Dr. Evil is strange in that he doesn't share a ton of information with my wife, at least according to her, such as his birthdate. I know she knows that it is June, and I know she knows what year it is. She's been searching like mad for this information and to the best of my knowledge hasn't been able to find it. So my guess is that she will assume the beginning of the month and has showered him with gifts, etc.
Why does this bother me? It wouldn't, except what did I get for my birthday or even our anniversary this year, or Christmas the year before that? NAFT. Look, I don't need a bunch of stuff - I have plenty. It is just disappointing that I'm sure she put a bunch of time and effort into calling him and finding the right present for Dr. Evil, but when it comes to me, she couldn't be bothered. One time I dared to say something, and I was told "Yes, but I was very mad at you then." Imagine what would happen if this was the other way??????? As I said, I don't need any more crap, but some attention and notice would be nice. We all have friends but why are they more important than spouses?
Why does this bother me? It wouldn't, except what did I get for my birthday or even our anniversary this year, or Christmas the year before that? NAFT. Look, I don't need a bunch of stuff - I have plenty. It is just disappointing that I'm sure she put a bunch of time and effort into calling him and finding the right present for Dr. Evil, but when it comes to me, she couldn't be bothered. One time I dared to say something, and I was told "Yes, but I was very mad at you then." Imagine what would happen if this was the other way??????? As I said, I don't need any more crap, but some attention and notice would be nice. We all have friends but why are they more important than spouses?
What's my story?
Here's the scoop...
I have a wonderful wife and two great kids. I have a good job with a recent promotion and my co-workers don't hate me too much. I have a few friends and an reasonable social life. I could stand to lose about 15 pounds from the midsection, but who amongst us couldn't?
So, what the hell is my problem?
It all stems from a business trip my wife took earlier this year. It was about 6 weeks, and the kids and I joined her about halfway through. This business trip was to a foreign country where it was very cold. During this first three weeks, my wife met someone and their relationship is ruining our relationship and my life.
I knew this person sort-of, as my business community is reasonably small. I never trusted him, didn't particularly like him, but didn't think much about him. It was pretty apparent though that my wife spent a LOT of time with him during this session. When the kids and I arrived, she met us at the airport after having spent the weekend with him in the city where we arrived. He flew home a few hours before we arrived.
My wife says everything was platonic, but there are so many things during and since then that simply don't add up. She has been like Jekyll and Hyde towards me ever since. Most of the time she is quite nice to me, but occasionally she gets extremely emotional. All the bad stuff evolves around her relationship with this guy.
While continuing to tell me how much she loves me and how much the family comes first to her, she continues to do things on the side with this guy that infuriate me to no end. She knows it, and doesn't seem to care. This guy lives across the country from me, but that hasn't stopped her from frequently communicating with him and trying to set up rendezvous with him, always when I am away from the house or out of town. Whenever I say anything, I'm told that I am simply a control freak. Maybe I am. Maybe she is too. But I think she really is putting her relationship with this guy (he needs a name, let's say Dr. Evil) ahead of our marriage and just doesn't seem to mind.
During her whole trip away, she never called. This is a first for her. I called three times and she was always too busy to talk and never called me back. I got several emails and the occasional IM, but never any voice. Weird.
Since then she has a fascination with this guy, and lies to me about him constantly. It's only when she's caught in the lie that she seems to have any regret, but is the regret about being caught or the behavior? She's told me that she won't lie about him again, and then a week later there's another lie, usually about something like sending him self-portraits, sending him a dozen red roses, or trying to set up a rendezvous when I'm gone.
My later posts will get more into the history and future of this relationship. Despite all of this I still love my wife. She is smart, beautiful, athletic, and has probably dropped from a size 10 to a size 4 since the beginning of the year through diet and exercise. She is great in bed and more experimental than ever. I really like this woman, and I compare our relationship to that of a perfect body, except for this one sore where the scab continues to get picked, festers, and gets infected. I wonder if it will turn to gangrene.
As The Clash sang in the early 1980s, I'm at the point of "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"
I have a wonderful wife and two great kids. I have a good job with a recent promotion and my co-workers don't hate me too much. I have a few friends and an reasonable social life. I could stand to lose about 15 pounds from the midsection, but who amongst us couldn't?
So, what the hell is my problem?
It all stems from a business trip my wife took earlier this year. It was about 6 weeks, and the kids and I joined her about halfway through. This business trip was to a foreign country where it was very cold. During this first three weeks, my wife met someone and their relationship is ruining our relationship and my life.
I knew this person sort-of, as my business community is reasonably small. I never trusted him, didn't particularly like him, but didn't think much about him. It was pretty apparent though that my wife spent a LOT of time with him during this session. When the kids and I arrived, she met us at the airport after having spent the weekend with him in the city where we arrived. He flew home a few hours before we arrived.
My wife says everything was platonic, but there are so many things during and since then that simply don't add up. She has been like Jekyll and Hyde towards me ever since. Most of the time she is quite nice to me, but occasionally she gets extremely emotional. All the bad stuff evolves around her relationship with this guy.
While continuing to tell me how much she loves me and how much the family comes first to her, she continues to do things on the side with this guy that infuriate me to no end. She knows it, and doesn't seem to care. This guy lives across the country from me, but that hasn't stopped her from frequently communicating with him and trying to set up rendezvous with him, always when I am away from the house or out of town. Whenever I say anything, I'm told that I am simply a control freak. Maybe I am. Maybe she is too. But I think she really is putting her relationship with this guy (he needs a name, let's say Dr. Evil) ahead of our marriage and just doesn't seem to mind.
During her whole trip away, she never called. This is a first for her. I called three times and she was always too busy to talk and never called me back. I got several emails and the occasional IM, but never any voice. Weird.
Since then she has a fascination with this guy, and lies to me about him constantly. It's only when she's caught in the lie that she seems to have any regret, but is the regret about being caught or the behavior? She's told me that she won't lie about him again, and then a week later there's another lie, usually about something like sending him self-portraits, sending him a dozen red roses, or trying to set up a rendezvous when I'm gone.
My later posts will get more into the history and future of this relationship. Despite all of this I still love my wife. She is smart, beautiful, athletic, and has probably dropped from a size 10 to a size 4 since the beginning of the year through diet and exercise. She is great in bed and more experimental than ever. I really like this woman, and I compare our relationship to that of a perfect body, except for this one sore where the scab continues to get picked, festers, and gets infected. I wonder if it will turn to gangrene.
As The Clash sang in the early 1980s, I'm at the point of "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"
First Post
Why am I doing this blog???
I don't expect anyone to read this; it is just catharsis for me to be able to tell someone, even if it's just my laptop, what's going through my head. At times I am going crazy and bouncing off the walls in a small square room that is my conscious self.
If anyone does read it, comments are appreciated.
I don't expect anyone to read this; it is just catharsis for me to be able to tell someone, even if it's just my laptop, what's going through my head. At times I am going crazy and bouncing off the walls in a small square room that is my conscious self.
If anyone does read it, comments are appreciated.
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